I’m not sure if a documentary about guys riding around the world is really something that can be spoiled (after all they are still alive, obviously didn’t die as part of it), but if you feel it could be spoiled, then be advised this will contain spoilers.

In Long Way Round, Ewan and Charlie start out in London and then drive east… all the way around the world on motorcycles. During the first part of the series they are discussing what bikes to use; Ewan wants to use BMWs, while Charlie wants KTM (a brand I knew nothing about, apparently they are an Austrian company that makes motocross/off-road bikes). Ewan acquiesces to Charlie’s request and the Long Way Round team goes and talks with KTM. KTM after learning what they are trying to do opts to NOT provide bikes to them as they think they will fail and it would look very bad for the brand. Charlie gets super pissed (which is of course part of the show), but then agrees that they should instead get BMWs. The bikes are the very beautiful BMW R1150GS Adventure.

Their is a third biker with them, Claudio, who is their cameraman and rides with them. They also have 2 SUVs filled with support personnel (including the director and a doctor). Throughout the show they encounter a variety of people and situations, the former are in general very welcoming and more often than not they ended up spending the night in someone’s house, rather than at a hotel. The situations (specifically the off-roading) do get very trying for everyone, but thanks to the technical expertise they gained before the trip, they are able to surmount all the obstacles they are presented with.

Toward the last part of the trip, they get a few other bikers joining them, forming a small gang, if you will. The last episode has some teasing about them wanting to do this again, which is what lead to the Long Way Down.

Long Way Down once more sees Ewan and Charlie on BMWs, though this time they are riding BMW R1200GS Adventures (the successor to their previous bike). This time the journey is from John O’Groats, Scotland to Cape Agulhas in South Africa.

The situations in this series were a bit more problematic, specifically, trying to organize so many border crossings (which required delays of up to 12 hours). Additionally, at the start of the series, Charlie decided “to use the ‘bomb’ word” in the airport while leaving England, which of course caused a major ruckus. Most of the crew went on without him and he was eventually released without charge. It doesn’t happen very often, but throughout this show and the last you see Charlie acting like the big time movie star, demanding various things and causing various problems (such as accidentally splashing petrol in Ewan’s eyes, repeatedly), whereas Ewan acts so congenially that he really comes off as just an incredibly nice person, a real everyman.

Partway through the journey, Ewan’s wife, Eve, meets up with them and rides with them for a bit. Her personality is similar to Ewan’s and I think she really helps us all to understand how we would react in that situation (riding for hours and spending the night in a random village by the side of the road, for instance).

In the final bit of the show, as Ewan and Charlie arrive in South Africa they are followed by a very large number of motorcycles. Some of the shots they show… you can’t see the end of the line. This is a gang of motorcycles.

In summary: 2 guys riding BMW Bikes show us an adventure. These guys did not ride alone and they did have support personnel and vehicles with them. This means it isn’t something you or I could do by ourselves. As much as Jon and I like riding our bikes (and we are fairly decent at it), we would not be able to attempt this journey. I’d say the most we could do is cross country. Personally, I’m fine with that.

Lastly, if you’d like more info about these trips, I invite you to take a look at the movies or read the books: Long Way Round and Long Way Down.

(Note: Added to Category: Stupid Companies, because KTM lost out on a lot of business and publicity when they shot down Ewan and Charlie)

This guy apparently decided to cross the road come hell or high water. He got across the first lane, which I was currently occupying, and then before continuing on his way across the second lane and pausing on the yellow dividing lines, he suddenly noticed me and STOPPED. Complete deer in the headlights look (and it was still daylight out). Then he starts backing up, realizes that maybe that’s a bad idea then starts going forward, then stops again. This little dance occurs while I am “hurtling” toward him at around 30 MPH.

As Jon has pointed out many a time, motorcycles are agile things. We tend to weave around obstacles fairly easily. One key thing to keep in mind about most obstacles: they aren’t alive. I felt like a lifeguard with a struggling swimmer. This guy was putting himself (as well myself) in even more danger by dithering back and forth.

When I passed him, he was close enough that I could have reached over and punched him, all because he kept moving back and forth. If he had gone one way or the other, I could have easily given him a wide berth, but when he started flailing about… yeah, not much you can do.

Keep in mind that this all happened in approximately 30 seconds. I realize that doesn’t allow for a lot of time to think, but seriously as a pedestrian you need to be aware of things going on around you, especially if you decide on such a bonehead move as walking into oncoming traffic when you have no right of way.

For the last 2 years, I’ve had a Prius. It was a good car, with some nice electronic toys to be sure. It most definitely gets fantastic gas mileage. That being said, it is a bit… meh. Now I didn’t get rid of it because it was “meh” (IE unexciting), I got rid of it because I didn’t drive it much these days. When I first got it, it was my primary mode of transport. That has since been replaced by my motorcycle. The only reason I took the Prius out was if it was raining heavily, I needed to carry multiple people, or carry sizable stuff. I figured if I was going to have a vehicle lamenting in my garage, unused, I wanted something A) more utilitarian and B) cheaper.

So I bought a 2006 Toyota Tundra SR5 with the “access cab”. I got the 2006 rather than something 2007 or newer mainly because I don’t need a BIG truck. A truck yes, but not something huge. It’s in good shape, doesn’t have terribly many miles, but most importantly it is cheaper for me. I made sure, before I bought it, to check and see if it was large enough to fit my motorcycle in the back, which it is. I don’t have any specific need to carry my bike about, but I figure it is useful to have. The truck also came with the towing package, which I again currently don’t have a use for, but I know that it is extremely handy to have. This isn’t my first foray into pickup trucks; I used to own a Dodge Ram 2500 V10. I’m used to being “the friend with a truck”, and really don’t mind helping out where I can – but you’ve got to be prepared.

Ooo, cassette player!

I will, of course, drive it a bit over the next few days so I can get a good feel for it and get a baseline for mileage. I’m not expecting any “good” numbers, but I know a guy – he works magic. I will also need to be re-buying the accessories every truck owner has. You know the things like tie down points, cinch straps, cargo nets. All the misc little bits you have to have when you own a truck because inevitably someone will want to use you for something.

To my friends who now know that I’m once again “that friend with a truck” (Everyone has got to have one, a friend with a truck): Yes, you will be paying for gas money for anything I’m moving for you. Yes, you’ll be feeding me – I don’t work for free ya know!

This sums up my feelings about riding motorcycles a lot of days. I mean, I occasionally “joke” about people always being out to kill me when riding a motorcycle… but it really is true. I behave nicely when I ride (most of the time). I don’t lane split through traffic at 90 miles per hour, I don’t cut people off… I just generally play nice. Yet every single time I go out it seems like someone is trying to take me out. Sure, I have incidents in cars too, but motorcycles are so much worse. It is like everyone on the road has a pathological need to ignore you if you aren’t driving something A) bigger than them or B) more expensive than them.

Now I’ll be honest, it isn’t every single time I go out, but it sure feels like it. Recently I’ve had two very similar incidents of people trying to move into my lane while I occupy it. The first was getting on the freeway, the person crossed the double white line (because the lane hadn’t completely got to the freeway) right in front of me. Luckily there was plenty of the space on the shoulder for me to go. The second was in regards to that twitter message above. I had got all of two blocks from my house, was in the right lane to turn right, and someone in the left lane decides they are coming over right as I’m there. I held down the horn as I passed (was the most logical course of action due to speed/position/etc), continued all the way past them… and they were still merging. They didn’t stop trying to kill me till I was long gone.

Moral of the story: People suck.

General Area: Back side of Pleasant Hill, Pacheco and into El Sobrante
Difficulty: Easy
Ride Length: ~20mn one way
Special Note: None.
Route Points: Point A to Point B – This is actually Reliez Valley Rd. It is a bit windy but has a number of stop signs. It really isn’t anything special, just a means to an end. Point B to C – This is the fun bit. It is only about 10 miles, but it is a nice windy back country.

After the Mt Hamilton ride (and that evil thing known as winter) I figured it would be nice to do some shorter exploratory rides. I found Alhambra Valley Rd and it really is quite a nice little bit. It has its twisty bits, but for the most part is just meandering back country. The speed limit is oddly low, 35 mph for most of it, but I saw at least one crotch rocket doing probably twice that. This is a super easy ride, even for newbies. The biggest concern is the quality of the road, not the worst roads I’ve ridden on, but it is poorly maintained back country road.

If you happen to be in the area and want an enjoyable little detour, check it out. Otherwise it really isn’t a “destination ride”. Though next week I may see about looping all the way around Briones and seeing if I can make something of it.

1. Stock motorcycle horns suck – Let’s be realistic, taking one of those canned air horns that people use at sports games and duct taping it to your bike would be a LOT louder than the motorcycle horn. I’m not really sure why all makers skimp so much on this, but it is basically universally accepted. It isn’t like there aren’t very loud and powerful horns that are small enough for bikes, on the contrary, there are plenty of aftermarket horns you can buy.

2. We’re generally not stuck – One of the biggest reasons cars honk is because they are stuck behind someone who is going slow or not moving or generally being stupid. It is very rare that a motorcycling is truly stuck. We can get around almost anything and lane split where necessary (and of course only when it is legal to do so).
3. We’re too busy – Someone tried to merge into my lane the other night; I would have honked, but I was simply too busy. Think about it. I’ve got my right hand grabbing the front breaks, right foot hitting the rear breaks, left hand pulling the clutch in, left foot down shifting and using my body to swerve away. While I could physically have hit my horn during this, I’ve got too many other things I need to do. By the time I’ve freed up enough brain power to honk at you, it is too late.
4. You cagers are idiots – For those that don’t know, “cager” (As in stuck in a cage) is one of many terms used to describe those in 4 wheels vehicles. I basically assume that every single one of you is out to kill me because you aren’t paying attention. Most of the time I see your stupidity (and attempts to kill me) coming and GTFO before you get there.

This all being said, I do honk from time to time. Though mostly on city streets and intersections rather than the highways. All too many times when making left turns have I watched idiots think they can make that right turn before I’ll get there. NO! BAD CAGER. I am faster than you think, wait your damn turn.

Currently we pay a tax on each gallon of gasoline we buy. Part of it is Federal, part State, and possibly even a local part (don’t know anywhere like this, but it is a possibility I suppose). As we move toward more fuel efficient vehicles (be they motorcycles, hybrids, or whatnot), the amount of tax money is decreasing. Obviously, the governments dislike this as they need that money to keep the roads up, one of the things that has been suggested is to replace the per gallon tax with a “Per Mile Driven” tax. This would mean that the cost of filling up, be it a hybrid or a truck would be much closer in cost. Sounds good for the gas guzzling truck, but not so much for anyone who bought a more fuel efficient vehicle to save on gas fill ups (and/or pretends to care that they really bought it to make the environment better).

Were something like this to pass it could put a serious dent into hybrid sales and also standard motorcycles (like the Suzuki Boulevard S40). Since Standard bikes are fairly cheap (new and used are generally well under $5k) and get good fuel economy (40-80 mpg depending on the model), they are popular sellers when gas prices start to rise, as they usually pay for themselves in a few months, depending on your commute (not to mention the awesomeness that is a motorcycle). Hybrids on the other hand are less of an impulse buy as they are quite costly. The main reason people suffer this cost though is because they are getting a savings at the pump. Remove that savings and hybrid sales will slump.

When Jon and I discussed this new tax, we kept coming back to the same question: How can you, the government/tax collector, prove how many miles I’ve driven?

Obviously they won’t just trust in people’s honesty and ask them to enter the number of miles they’ve driven since they last refueled, as I think we’d find that most people were driving something with mileage similar to a mobile launch platform.

One of the things offered as a possibility is a “new device linking the technology of a cellphone with a global positioning system unit and a car’s on-board computer” which “could be deployed within a few years, experts say.” This means we will have a special tax to pay for the cost of developing this, and possibly an extra tax on the registration of our cars. What about those cars that are too old for this? On-board diagnostics have only been mandatory since 1996, so if you have a car older than that are you exempt? Of course you aren’t, which means you have to do something special (aka more expensive since you haven’t been a good American and bought a new car lately)? What about electric cars that never fuel up? What about fleet vehicles that only fill up at their bases?

Ignoring the vehicles that don’t fill up, you could enter your license plate and state when you fill up and that would check the DMV database to figure out what the vehicle is and the EPA estimated mileage. Of course this screws over hypermilers and really benefits anyone who wants to drive like a crazy person, since everyone gets the same rate. This of course will lead to everyone entering a license plate for the most inefficient vehicle they know. Theoretically this could be policed via cameras at the pumps, but this will require a large investment in terms of hardware and software. And of course is defeated by anyone standing in front of the plate or obscuring various portions.

Another possibility for this tax is if every state implemented a yearly inspection for cars. The inspector would check the miles then and report it to the government. A few weeks later you get a GIANT bill in the mail with a schedule of how you will be making payments. Of course, any odometer can be rolled back, and the pressure to do so will be proportional to the cost of this new tax.

Eventually, the insurmountable problems will be surmounted and the government will decide whether or not they want to replace the existing Gas Tax with a new per mile tax, or in a worst case scenario supplement the Gas Tax with the new tax.

One nice thing about moving to a per mile tax would (hopefully) be the removal of manned tollbooths anywhere in America (sorry tollbooth workers). Everyone would have a built in toll tag so there would be no scrounging around for change, eliminating some of the slow down for major metropolitan traffic. Of course this also makes it easier for the governments to setup more toll roads with tolls varying depending on the time of day you are utilizing it. Then again, the per mile driven tax would essentially turn every road in America into a toll road, you just wouldn’t necessarily know what the toll is.

I was riding in the left lane behind someone who was not going as fast as I wanted to go. After a brief stretch a new lane was added on the left, and I immediately moved over into this lane to pass the slower vehicle. Right after I did this, I notice an Audi right on my tail. I’ll be honest, I don’t know where he came from. I’m observant and normally catch these people coming up on me, but all I can assume is that he was moving very fast previously. I was riding on the extreme left of this left lane, almost on top of the yellow lane when I noticed the Audi moving to the right side of the lane. I don’t know why, but I knew exactly what he was going to do and knew that the best course of action was to stay where I was. He stomped it, and did it.

The Audi lane split me.

Now keep in mind that at no point did he move (even partially) into the lane to our right since that slow vehicle was directly next to us. He used my lane and passed me. I was completely stunned. I could not believe that anyone would do that, let alone do something like that on a fairly empty freeway (This was mid-afternoon on a weekend; it was NOT busy). If he had waited another 5 to 10 seconds, I would have completed passing the slower traffic AND been out of the lane, but he couldn’t wait.

I wasn’t (and am not) angry about this person doing something like this to me, even though it is extremely dangerous. I could have just as easily decided to move slightly to the right, or just gently move to the center of the lane. I’m just baffled as to why anyone would do this on an unbusy freeway. Of course he exited the freeway about a mile and a half later, so he gained himself maybe 15 seconds. Oh well.

Oh, and if anyone has ever heard of anything like this being done, or has a better term, I’d be interested to hear it.

General Area: From Livermore, out Mines Rd, along Route 130 and into San Jose
Difficulty: For the most part, easy. A few specific portions aren’t so much hard as extremely tiring.
Ride Length: 4+ hours
Special Note: Make sure to fill up in Livermore if you’ve got a small gas tank. It is 70 miles between Livermore and San Jose, and you DON’T want to run out of gas on these back roads.
Route Points: Point A – In-N-Out & fuel. Point B – Lick Obervatory, Mt Hamilton. Point C – Sweet glorious freeway. Point D – Dinner (Ume Sushi)

Mines Rd, after it becomes 2 lanes again.

Comments: Barring the short jaunt John and I made, mentioned in last week’s Ride Friday, this was the first time we’ve gotten to go on a real ride together. It was certainly a learning experience for the both of us. Google Maps say the section between Livermore and San Jose is 65+ miles and about 1 hr 45mn. I figured we’d probably take 2 to 2.5 hours since we’d take our sweet time and stop for the occasional photo op. Since we were riding in from elsewhere in the Bay, we stopped at Point A for food (In-N-Out is tasty) and fuel. By about 12:30 PM, we were off and running. Once you make the turn onto Mines Rd from Mines Rd (be careful not to stay on Del Valle Rd), it gets into the twisties fairly quickly which is just fine with me. I realized quickly that it might be a slightly longer ride for me than I expected because of John’s cruiser. My BMW might not be a sport bike, but it has the lineage so it can eat the corners fairly well. The cruiser on the other hand was made for cruising, not peg scraping. I led the entire time, but it was good to have John along because it forced me to slow down and wait from time to time, rather than doing the “Bat out of hell” thing I’m apt to do.

John’s cruiser.

Shortly into the ride, Mines Rd becomes one lane, though fairly wide in most parts. There wasn’t much traffic for us, barring one large group of old Porche/Mini things, so it was just fine with me. It was also at this point I realized something else was wrong with our ride. The speed limit in this section was 45 MPH, and that just wasn’t possible with all the turns. The only way you could maintain the speed limit would be to have the road closed for you and be driving a Lambo. At least getting a ticket wasn’t a concern (not that I saw any cops).

* Please do not actually lick the observatory.

After many miles, Route 130 joins in and the road officially becomes Route 130/San Antonio Valley Rd. The first portion of it is very cool. You’re out in this random valley (San Antonio Valley) that has a bunch of farms and a nice gentle country road. Eventually, it starts to get windy again and you start to climb the foot of Mt Hamilton. In general it isn’t too bad, but right close to the top it becomes a series of hair pin turns. The top of the mountain isn’t much to write home about in my book. There are several observatories up there, and it probably has a very good view of the area, unfortunately smog mucks up most of the view. If you were to go up there on a very clear day, I’m sure the view would be stunning.

Hazy view off of Mt Hamilton

Then, heading down the hill, this is where I got cranky. The first 5 miles (I think) were miserable. The roads are tiny narrow (much of the 1 lane road section of Mines Rd was wider), there is a fair amount of traffic (for a mountain road) and there is dirt, rocks, and gravel EVERYWHERE. This is when John really enjoyed being behind me, as I found all the god damn gravel for him. Taking a hair pin turn, downhill (my least favorite), through gravel… is my definition of NOT FUN. Needless to say, I was very excited when we got out of that and the road returned to a winding country road. We got into San Jose, and I was never so happy to see a freeway. Oh, it was also after 4:30 PM. Yes, our “1 hour 45 minute” ride according to Google was OVER FOUR HOURS. OMFG IT WAS SOOOOO LONG. Yes, we stopped, but total stopped time is safely less than 30 minutes.

In conclusion, the ride is enjoyable (for the most part) and I’m very glad we did it, but I felt zero urge to take the motorcycle out the next day (or the several days after that). I’d much prefer spending 4 hours on a bike and traveling 250 miles, at least that way I feel like I’ve accomplished something. So if you too want to make this ride, allot the entire afternoon. If you’re going solo and on a sports bike, you’ll make much better time than us, I’m sure.

Though if you make this ride, or have done so previously, leave a note. I’m curious what others think of it.

Last Friday (November 13), I decided to ride the bike down to Jon. My original plan was to ride down Saturday morning, but Jon kept pushing me to go for Friday night. Though others argued against it, I decided to cut out of work a little early, run home, pack, and head out.
It was just barely above freezing when I left. As I noted previously, I was wearing my Tourmaster jacket and pants with all liners. I was also wearing my winter gloves. At one point, I pulled out my balaclava, towel, hoodie, and pocket chemical warmers.

I was still cold.

I literally had to pull over at every rest stop between Tahoe and Auburn to at least attempt to get the circulation back in my extremities, an endeavor in which I was only partially successful. By the time I hit Auburn, I was ready to call it a night. I drove over to Ikeda’s (Point B) to grab some dried fruit and call Jon. He attempted to persuade me to continue on; I told him I would eat and then let him know. I headed to Denny’s (Point C) to warm up and get some food in me.

While there, Jon suggested we meet up halfway, at a Starbucks in Dixon (Point D), possibly swapping bikes there (as his bike has all kinds of cold weather friendly features, such as heated grips, massive fairings and an adjustable windshield). It sounded like a good idea to meet up, if nothing else.

Unfortunately, after chatting a bit our bikes did not want to start. Jon was able to get his going after a couple of minutes, but mine just refused to join the party. I tried bump-starting it; we tried jumping it; nothing. Disappointed, I called Progressive and asked for some roadside assistance; 30 minutes later a truck arrived (towing a motorcycle carrier). As I explained to Jed (The tow truck guy) what we had tried, he had me try to bump-start it again and this time gave me a shove. This seemed to make all the difference as the bike suddenly ROARED to life.

I circled back and parked the bike in neutral (keeping it running for obvious reasons). Jed had me fill out the necessary paperwork and then Jon and I suited up and drove back to his house for the night. Final travel time: 6 hours, which is roughly twice what it should take.

Lessons Learned: When suiting up for cold weather, wear everything and if you suddenly find yourself too warm, then peel off a layer or two. And, if you are having trouble bump-starting your bike, get someone to give you a shove.